Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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