K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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