glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I want to fling myself into the sun
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
