i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
