i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Duck Duck Cougar?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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