hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Nicole vs. Life
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
