I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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