Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
