You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
he thought i was a dude.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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