i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize