MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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