My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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