i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
