I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
So vagazzling was a success
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
