Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
