if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
