Who did Billy Mays play for?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
