Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
we're making bets on your personal life
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
