I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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