You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
