and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I want to make a zoo with you.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Come on in and take your pants off
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
