Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
