I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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