Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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