there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
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