$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
