Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Randomize
