The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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