Plan B is the new Plan A
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Randomize