I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
