And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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