Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
