I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
