I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
