i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
