Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I am never drinking with the goths again.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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