I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
