At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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