we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Less talking, more tequila
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
