I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
