There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Randomize
