he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
