Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize