I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
