There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
