Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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