i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
