Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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