brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
