Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
