What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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