I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
