No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Randomize
