Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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