theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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