Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
