Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
