I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
