so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
There's always time for handjobs
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Randomize