Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I didn't shave. On purpose
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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