He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
it glows. i had to have it.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
