47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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