Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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