Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
