You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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