Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
