Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
