I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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