Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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