we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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